What if..........

One year ago today we were on our way to Arkansas to meet our new family and await the arrival of our sweet Baby M.  I'll admit that I was pretty scattered by the time we actually got in the car to start the trip to the airport.  We had started our adoption journey less than thirty days before and it had been a non-stop whirlwind trying to get everything together, and did I mention that I had two children at that time?

I was a complete bundle of nerves and if it hadn't been for friends and family, I'm doubtful that I would have been able to hold it all together during that time.  Some of my random thoughts as we were getting ready to leave (you can say "poor R" because I know that in addition to thinking these thoughts, I verbalized them to him at least once or twice :-) :

What if we get stuck in traffic and miss our flight?  What if the E-tickets don't work when we get there?  What if our bags are overweight?  Did you remember to turn off the coffeepot?  Is the alarm set?  Did I leave G and K's schedules? How are my folks going to survive two weeks with G and K?  Are we going to be able to survive G and K after they've spent two weeks with their grandparents?  Is everything all set for the cat-sitter?

What if R's fingerprints have to be redone?  Why does it have to be the weekend when we can't get hold of anyone?  What if our homestudy doesn't make it to Arkansas?  What if one or both of us has to fly back home to take care of it?

How do I look?  Are my clothes okay?  Do you think she will like me?  What if she doesn't like me?  Do you think we'll have a lot to talk about?  What if we can't understand each other? 

Do you think she'll ask us to come to the hospital?  I'd really like to be at the hospital.  What if she doesn't want us there?  What if something goes wrong during the delivery?  What if something is wrong with the baby?  Do you think she'll ask us to be in the delivery room.  I'd love to be in the delivery room.  What if she asks me to be in delivery room?  Should I accept?  Is that too personal a moment for a non-relative? Do you think she'll let us hold the baby?  What if she changes her mind?  I couldn't blame her for changing her mind, but what if that happens?  What would we tell our girls?  What we would tell our families?  How would I make it thru that?

One missed flight, an unexpected overnight stay in Dallas.......

And then on Monday, 6/13/11..............

And now...............